HERE IT IS. ❤❤❤ THE FULL BLOG ON
(HOW HEARTBREAK MADE ME STRONGER)
.
.
I am so excited to release & share with you my testimony of how heartbreak made me stronger. And, me experiencing my first relationship. This will be my first blog really letting you have the full story of my first heartbreak and how it affected my time in college. And what wisdom God gave me from that experience
.
HERE IS MY STORY:
It was in the year of of 2016, I just had graduated high school and was starting college. I was 19yrs old. I met my first boyfriend and was talking to him actually before I started college and we met from a online dating site (I thank God for the lesson and wisdom I got from dating someone online, Because the 24 year old me right now will recommend everyone to ➡ Do not go on a dating site at all but wait on God to send you his best.) But we was talking for two months prior to the day I graduated High school. And when I actually first met him was the day me and one of my best friends went on a trip to the beach and he came and met me for the first time ever. Now in the two months we was in a relationship we never met. He would call me and text me but we never met face to face due to us living 3 hours apart from each other and I didn't have a car at the time. And I know your like "How can you be in a relationship with someone you never met?" That is the same exact question I would tell my nineteen year old self. We texted on Facebook messanger and we became Facebook friends But thankful he was real and I met him. So this wasn't no hold catfish situation I was in.
But the long story short I made it very clear to him my goals and how I was a servant leader at church and how waiting until marriage was important to me from the beginning an he told me he understood. But the way he talked to me through text an on the phone was like he didn't seem to get me and what all I told him from the get go. But that being my first relationship I was just so blinded by him and the signs that God was showing me about him and what his true intentions was. So through two months of us talking and getting to know each other we started saying the three words....I Love you. Wow. Those are three very important words. But we said it. But fast forward on the beach vacation when I met him it was like sparks when I first saw him. I was working out that day and he texted me and told me he didn't live far and was on his way to see me. (Due to respect for him I won't mention his name and where he lives at) but he came and saw me. He smiled and we hugged for the first time, holded hands for the frist time and we really bonded alot better than I thought we would an we went on our first date together which was a double date of going bowling. He was a gentleman an he paid for both us to bowl, he held the door for me, showed me how to bowl, and it was the best First date/double date ever. So before we ended the night he sat at the poolside while I put my feet in the water an we swim for a little bit in the pool and we really just hanged out and talk. And before the night ended we shared our first kiss. He was a gentleman about it and he left. We was at the beach for a hold week until Sunday evening. So then we started facetiming on messanger alot more than regularly since we didn't see each other often.
So when August comes in an I'm about to start checking out the first college I was going to go to which was coastal alabama community college in bay minette....and me and him was basically dating for 4 months then. My mom and me decided why not go down there and checkout the college and get a suite and enjoy the beach together. So I called my boyfriend at the time an tell him we was down there so he can come visit me. He told me he was working that day and he couldn't come until that night. I got ready and then that night mom gets a chance to met him an said she got good vibes but still wanted me to be careful around him because some people can be sneaky. She is always that mom that supports you but at the same time watches out for you and tells you the truth no matter what. Also my mom's boyfriend at the time went with us and he didn't have a good feeling about him at all but we go an leave to go to waffle house to have dinner. It was not too far from the suite. Everything was fine. We got dinner and we laughed and it felt great for us to have a time to be together and bond alot more because we barely got to see each other because of him working all the time. We talked about church and so on but as we sit in the car for a little bit after dinner. That's when events change. He started not being the person he was those 4 months of me talking to him. He got to touchy and trying to change my mind on waiting on marriage and basically being disrespectful. He didn't respect me at all and really showed me his intentions, so after 50 seconds of dealing with that I told him he gotta take me back to the hotel. He apologize and we talk it out and hangout for 4 minutes and he takes me back and walks me to the door and leaves. We still text through the the night that night, and everything seemed fine. So, the next day I tired texting him and calling no answer. So something in my spirit tells me to go message him, so I go to Facebook to message him and what do I find 💁 HE HAD BLOCKED ME. When I say that crushed me...it did I was experiencing a feeling I never felt before. I told mom and her boyfriend and she got angry and I cried on her shoulders. And it was also the day I was going to checkout my classes and the campus I was suppose to be going too in a couple of weeks. So this was suppose to be a happy day for me when actually It was such a crappy day because my heart was shattered. I called my best friends and cried my heart out. I was a mess for a hold month. I started questioning was I good enough for him. I start going through a depression mode of blaming myself for not being good enough for him. I start wanting to change myself and how I looked because of thinking "What is wrong with me to make him do that to me?" I started going through so many questions in my mind of why he did that to me. I cried and was heartbroken for days about that. That First heartbreak sucks and you have no words for it or how to cope with it when you have tried to guard yourself from it for awhile of seeing people around you go through that. And to make matters worse he tried to talk to me again and being the person at the time that I was I let him back in again. I have no idea what I was thinking. But he still didn't change at all is what I learned in those 2 weeks of us reconnecting again. An my best friend exposed him that second time. That's why I said if someone is not for you God will reveal them to you. Thankful he texted on FB my best friend something that wasn't good and she told me. I love how God works and has your back and apply people to your life who watches after you. I'm so thankful for her and love her like family. But He lied about changing and him wanting to make up for hurting me. He was just chasing something he wasn't going to get from me. So after having the last of dealing with him I moved on and block him on Facebook.
The point of sharing my story and my testimony is to say LADIES NO YOUR WORTH AND YOUR VALUE. Nowadays it is so very important to have the gift of discernment + wisdom an people in your life that has your back and your best interest. Listen to the signs that God shows you. I refuse to settle and I refuse to let another man EVER treat me like that again. You live and you learn. Heartbreak really did make me stronger. I used to think he broke me because I had fallen so hard for him and was at that age where I wanted a relationship so bad to where I would tolerate him treating me less than what I am. But looking back on it......he really made me stronger and he made my focus adjust alot better when it comes to actually watching a person more closely and not moving so quickly. The nineteen year old me if I saw him today would fuss him out but the mature and the Woman that God has shaped me now would run up to him and thank him because if I didn't go through that hold situation I wouldn't had learned my worth and what I do deserve and what I don't deserve. I would not change anything about what happen because it really taught me alot. God always has a plan for what you go through. God always knows how to equipped you and make you strong. I needed to learn that lesson of knowing my worth and what kind Man Of God I deserve. God knows what he is doing to get you to that next level and help you grow and shift you into your purpose. I'M SO HAPPY + BLESSED FOR GOD.
Kommentare